Fifth Column 4:45 Tue Dec 29
German dies in condom machine explosion
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A man has died after allegedly trying to blow up a condom vending machine.
The 29-year-old is said to have been fatally injured by a piece of flying metal from the explosion in Germany.
He arrived at hospital with two other men after suffering a head injury. His accomplices told medical staff he had injured himself falling down stairs.
But after hospital workers called police the men admitted they had tried to blow up the machine.
Police believe the trio got into a car after setting up the explosion. The victim is thought to have failed to close his door in time and was hit by debris.
Condom packets and cash were found lying on the ground after the blast in Schoeppingen, near the border with Holland
http://www.standard.co.uk/news/world/man-dies-in-condom-machine-explosion-a3145456.html
Bet he didn't see that COMEing
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Replies - Newest Posts First ( Show In Chronological Order)
Hammer and Pickle
12:01 Thu Dec 31
Re: German dies in condom machine explosion
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People in the bank are looking at me as I read that Alfie.
I'm just shrugging my shoulders and telling them they wouldn't understand.
Happy New Year mate.
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Fifth Column
11:57 Thu Dec 31
Re: German dies in condom machine explosion
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Alfie
What was that? I was reading through looking forward to the punchline. There wasn't one.
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Pancho
9:05 Thu Dec 31
Re: German dies in condom machine explosion
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Haven't you shit out like 27 kids Debs?
Like you know about condoms...
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Darlo Debs
1:16 Thu Dec 31
Re: German dies in condom machine explosion
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Did your ringleader get caught on the basis of tax evasion for all the lost VAT on these luxury items?
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Alfie
1:09 Thu Dec 31
Re: German dies in condom machine explosion
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Many many years ago nah i was the bag man for a very heavy firm out of canning town who specialised in the armed robbery of tampon dispensers in ladies carsies and train station conveniences.
We lived like kings for fucking years, sweeney couldnt touch us. We turned over every minge plug gaff in south east england.
We had so fucking many fucking lady toiletries we didnt know what to do with em. Some of the firm smoked em like ladi das, others thatched their cottages with them: one of our mob - Bolshy Jenkins - wore them like corks hanging from an australian hat.
One of our number wore one up his bum to heighten his excitement and exagerrate his cockney bowl.
We didnt give a fuck. We ran london and turned over every gash towel machine in the southern hemisphere.
At one point we had so many sanitary lozenges in our safe housei- the guiness book of records wanted to interview us for the most insulated loft category.
Of course we told them to fuck off, and carried on drinking warm prosecco like 1930's berlin before the nazi dream went murderous and invadey.
At one point i was so long of Tampax i rented an entire gypsy fairground and burnt a mound of knicker absorbing materials over gloucster park in basildon in a gigantic pyre.
They used to call us 'the soak up boys'. We had immense toilet stolen riches and We ran the entire south from watford down to Bromble beach in cornwall - and we didnt give a fuck about nuffin mate. No thing cocker
We also done a side line in ladies knickers and g strings and we had that sown up an all.
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Darlo Debs
12:36 Thu Dec 31
Re: German dies in condom machine explosion
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Would that be Sir Paul Condon?
Close but no cigar..
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Nicey
12:34 Thu Dec 31
Re: German dies in condom machine explosion
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Oddly the crime is being investigated by the retired former chief commissioner of the Met
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Roeder-nowhere
3:45 Wed Dec 30
Re: German dies in condom machine explosion
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Condomed to death.... ok.. I'll stop!
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Roeder-nowhere
3:44 Wed Dec 30
Re: German dies in condom machine explosion
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Spunked his life away
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The Undertaker
12:59 Wed Dec 30
Re: German dies in condom machine explosion
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pointless thread-
In fact it's a dead rubber
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Russ of the BML
11:54 Wed Dec 30
Re: German dies in condom machine explosion
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Shame, the fella's a stiff now.
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eswing hammer
11:31 Wed Dec 30
Re: German dies in condom machine explosion
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Was his name Helmut?
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deanfergi
11:14 Wed Dec 30
Re: German dies in condom machine explosion
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Use the WHO fund to send a sheath or something?..
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hammer205
10:35 Wed Dec 30
Re: German dies in condom machine explosion
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I'm gossamer smacked!
Did his MATES booby trap it!
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Nicey
8:50 Wed Dec 30
Re: German dies in condom machine explosion
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They should have been a bit more discreet , maybe undertook a Trojan operation
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cholo
8:47 Wed Dec 30
Re: German dies in condom machine explosion
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The bloke was obviously a spermicidal maniac.
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NDT
8:45 Wed Dec 30
Re: German dies in condom machine explosion
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Amateurs, JOHNNY come lately s with no experiance
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The Ghost of Braderz
9:45 Tue Dec 29
Re: German dies in condom machine explosion
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If you're gonna blow something up, you have to be EXTRA SAFE.
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Council Scum
6:06 Tue Dec 29
Re: German dies in condom machine explosion
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Should took protection
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Fifth Column
5:46 Tue Dec 29
Re: German dies in condom machine explosion
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Sounds like it exploded prematurely.
That never happens to me*.
*this may be untrue
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Hammer and Pickle
4:57 Tue Dec 29
Re: German dies in condom machine explosion
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Not exactly an ELITE operation this (oh, and sorry I called you a cunt last night, Dump).
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